How to Forgive

How to Forgive... It’s a choice.

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It's that simple. 

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 It’s a Choice

1. There are over 100 scriptures about “forgiveness”. We all “know” in our heart, by the Holy Spirit, that we are to forgive. But it simply seems impossible to do. So, “why” can’t we do it?

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You can’t reflect what you haven’t received from the Lord. 

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This is a sobering statement, I know. But if you haven’t received God’s forgiveness for yourself, then you can’t forgive others. Spend time with the Lord. Pray the Ephesians 1:15-23 prayer over yourself and ask the Lord to show you about this, to teach you. Then listen for where He directs you to in the Word. He may start revealing things within your head, your thinking,  about the situation first. Whatever and however He does it, follow Him. When He shows you, repent, deeply. And receive your forgiveness. Receive it. You do this on purpose. Not because your feelings agree, or don’t. You receive it because of God’s Word which says, He is faithful and just to forgive you - 1 John 1:9. Say out loud: “Lord, I receive Your forgiveness and thank You for it.” 

 

2.    In John 20:23-24 in a different translation - “Then He took a deep breath and breathed on them. ‘Receive the Holy Spirit,’ He said. ‘If you forgive someone’s sins, they’re gone for good. If you don’t forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?’”  Here’s a revelation from the Lord: If you hold on to unforgiveness of someone, you then receive the person’s penalty for the sin. You are keeping the sin active and alive, and the penalty follows - the penalty is attached to it and attached to you. Whatever they do about the sin is between them and God. You take care of your part and forgive it.  Take every thought captive about the situation and cast it down, out loud, “I forgave so-and-so about that sin. Go talk to Jesus about it.” And keep doing this with the vain imaginations of unforgiveness until it’s gone. It takes a few days but you have the power through Jesus. 

 

3.     The other major component to forgiveness, and this may not be easy for some people to read…is pride. You have to get honest with yourself and the Lord and see if this is the issue. Pride will typically look like something else, like “justified” for feeling this way because what was done to you was really bad, "you didn't deserve it". That may be the case. You may be justified in a worldly sense, but it’s about how “right” you are. That’s pride. 

 

4.    Unforgiveness holds you captive. Captive by the situation. Captive by the person(s). You are not free. You are in bondage. And you are choosing bondage rather than the freedom Jesus Christ purchased for you - Galatians 5:1 - “Stand fast in the liberty where Christ has made me free and I am not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

 

5.    There are times when the toughest part to forgiveness is forgiving yourself.   This goes in the line with #1 - you can not reflect what you haven’t received from the Lord. Spend time in scriptures on His forgiveness of mankind, it’s what the Cross was all about. Soak in those scriptures until you know that you know, that you know that you are forgiven. 

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Forgiveness is about “choice.” You have to choose to do it. It’s emotionally tough because our emotions feel justified or like we deserve to feel this way. Choose to forgive. Spend time with the Lord to see what your case involves from the numbered areas above. He will lead you. He loves you. He gave His life for you. He will lead you if you let Him.

 

Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.