Marriage
Proverbs 31:10-31; 1 Corinthians 7; Romans 7:1-3; Ephesians 5:21-33.
Malachi 2:14-16 - “You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not the One God made you? You belong to Him in body and spirit. And what does the One God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.”
Marriage is a covenant.
Every time God speaks, it’s a covenant. Sometimes there are time limits - like with the earth, the sea, the sun, the moon. But with people His covenants, God’s promises to people are eternal. God makes these promises to Himself so they can never be broken as Hebrews 6:13 - “When God made His promise to Abraham, since there was no one greater for Him to swear by, He swore by Himself,” Covenants, the covenant of marriage is forever in this realm on earth. It is only dissolved at the death of one of the spouses. Which is why it is said in Scripture that when one dies the other can marry again and is not committing adultery.
Not what it seems
Expectations can be good and sometimes not. We all have expectations of “what a marriage” should be. But what does God say about it?
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It’s a covenant as long as both are alive - Malachi 2:14-16; 1 Corinthians 7; Matthew 22:23-33.
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It will be difficult spending much time with the Lord because you are focused on your spouse and your family. And that is right. God is with you in this. He has given you the spouse of your choosing. Know all of this to start out. 1 Corinthians 7. (I like it in the Message Translation.) Spending time with the Lord will be a bit of a struggle because you have your family. But it should still be a priority with you to spend time with the Lord. When you don’t spend time with Him, you can’t hear Him as clearly. So prioritize a “set time”. Maybe it’s very early in the morning before your spouse and children awake. Or maybe it’s at night after everyone has gone to bed. Or perhaps if you’re a stay at home mom, it’s when your husband goes to work and after your child/children lay down for a nap. Talk with the Lord about it, He will direct you. It’s not about the length of time, rather the quality. Stay open to the Lord’s leading all day long as you’re going about your business. The more you keep your awareness of Him with you and leading you, the closer you will be with the Lord.
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There will be troubles and disagreements. Particularly if you didn’t clarify what your core values are with one another at the beginning. (See article on: Looking for a Spouse.) It’s okay to disagree but don’t let offense take hold. Always stay in forgiveness for your spouse and yourself. It’s not about “winning” or “proving your point”. It’s about growing together, learning together. The two are one flesh! True victory lies in understanding, compromise, love, and strengthening your bond together, through respectful resolution.
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Keep strife out of the marriage at all costs. Proverbs 17:1 - “Better a dry crust of bread with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.” Again, it’s about respectful resolution. Not proving your point. When “strife” has grabbed hold that means that someone is not understanding, not compromising, and not strengthening the bond together with their spouse. If the other spouse will not let go of their point, then immediately forgive them and pray over the situation. Pray the Ephesians 1:17-23 prayer for you both, that the Holy Spirit would give you both wisdom and revelation knowledge; and that the eyes of you both have understanding what the Lord wants. You will “know” what comes next, a means for resolution. Remember, do all things from love.
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Nurture each day with love and respect. Make your life about doing things together (not just “going somewhere” kind of things), not only the good things but also the hard things. Do them together - don’t leave your spouse on their own to handle tough situations. Always lean to the Holy Spirit together to guide you through love, kindness, and honesty. This is key.
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Know there is an enemy, the devil. There is a spiritual world. Attacks will come. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you “see” them. Deal with them the way He leads you. Prayer of agreement is mighty in the Lord. One can put a thousand to flight and two can put 10,000 to flight! (Joshua 23:10 & Deuteronomy 32:30.)
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Pray for your spouse!! Pray over you and your family. Look at the Epistle prayers and see how the Holy Spirit leads you in this. Ephesians 1:17-23; Ephesians 3:14-21; Romans 15:5-7,13-14; 1 Corinthians 1:4-9; 2 Corinthians 1:3-5; Philippians 1:6, 9-11; Colossians 1:9-14; 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3; 3:12-13; 5:13-24; 2 Thessalonians 1:12-13; 2:16; 3:2-5, 16; 1 Timothy 2:1-4; Hebrews 13:20-21; Jude 1:20-21, 24.