I've been in a state of reflection lately and realized how profoundly we can only show forth from within us and in our lives what we have truly received from the Lord.

It doesn't mean He hasn't given us all things that pertain to Godliness. He surely has! He has given us all things that are His. But what can we receive?

Once we are born-again He gives us everything. We cannot show what we have not, truly, received... personally. It doesn't mean you're not saved. It only means you haven't fully received it.

You can always tell what you have received by looking at your life. What do you have? What we have received from the Lord shows up in our lives. What we cannot receive shows up too, on the negative side. I'm not sure I'm bringing this to the fullness of what I'm seeing.

Let me explain. Just being totally upfront about this. The last year and half, actually more like two years have been a major learning curve for me. And I've been saved for a very long time. I've been saved since I was 5 years old. And living right with God since I was 27. At the time of this writting I'm 55. I've been doing this for a while. As they say, I've been in the faith for quite a while. This is not my first rodeo. But what I will share has been the biggest "rodeo" so to speak of my life...and that included standing for my healing of a stroke at 26. That was almost easier than what I have recently gone through.

Too much to go into here but briefly, all I had known about the Lord and how things operate with Him, in Him, and through Him was deeply rattled within my very being. I got seriously thrown from how I saw myself in Christ Jesus because of people, actually one person specifically, of whom I allowed myself to go against everything I knew in my Holy Spirit "knower" within me. Please, don't ever allow yourself to do that. It will save you deep heart ache.

I disobeyed the Holy Spirit. I went against the promptings of the Holy Spirit when He gave me warnings. That deep-down scratchy, super-uncomfortable "feel" inside that "something ain't right." SUPER important to pay attention to those and obey them. When you get that from the Holy Spirit, STAY AWAY FROM THE SITUATION He is telling you to stay away from! And simply let the chips fall where they may!

I say that last phrase because that was one of the things I "considered" - "what would happen if I got out of the situation"; "what would happen to the person involved"; "would I let them down"; -- as if it depended on "me" staying there to make things right. THIS was initially how I got stuck in "consideration".

I had contradicted what I KNEW, that I knew, in my Holy Spirit "knower" and the Word of God!!!! Consequently, I allowed "confusion" [God is not the author of confusion but of peace - 1 Cor. 14] which didn't look like confusion. It looked like: "I had to consider what I knew from the Word of God was my misinterpretation of scripture." That I was wrong in what I read. But what I didn't realize is what I was being told went AGAINST scripture. And I knew it did!!

This created doubt in all that I knew from the Word. God is very plain about things. He says what He says. If your saved by grace, through belief (faith), and not of ourselves: it is the gift of God.(Eph. 2.) Period. None of this "yeah, but...it doesn't mean that." There is nothing we can do by our own actions or justification. Nothing. Ever. If we could, then we would have a reason to brag and say how great we are. We are not. (Heb 8-9.) We are all sinners saved by grace and have ETERNAL INHERITANCE.

All we have to do is receive God's free and extraordinary gift through His Son Jesus to bring us back to God. That's it.

But each time I denied what the Holy Spirit was leading and purposely went with what the other person was saying I got really messed up. My thinking became uncertain. That's what "confusion" looks like when it's sneaking up on you. "Uncertainty". With God all things are certain - they are "yes" and "so be it." (2 Cor. 1:20.) There's no squirrliness with Him. He has said, "No one can take us out of His hand." (John 10:27-30.) And that "He will never leave us or forsake us." And He has given us eternal life!!!

All of this sublte "confusion" caused me to doubt "who I am in Christ Jesus." That is the most dangerous place to be.

I would talk with the Lord about this all the time. Asked for His help. He said He was with me. He also said this was a test.

And then He said something that shook me: "What do you have?" Meaning, what was I left with in my life? My life at the midst of this trial was a diasaster!!! Every area of my life. And I have never been through anything thing like this before.

You cannot reflect what you don't have!

Because of the "consideration" which was all out confusion of "where" I stood in Christ Jesus reflected entirely in my life!

If you havn't received the Word that God spoke about you, to yourself, you cannot show the fruit of it. Tree - Fruit. Furit is the result of the health of the tree. It was time for a "tree check up" and spiritual pruning.

How did I get past this?

Once I realized it I repented! Deeply! Because I had in "consideration" doubted what the Lord says about me in His Word. When there's doubt...there's unbelief. Faith, or belief, is what pleases God. (Hebrews 11.) There was no way I was pleasing when I wouldn't take His Word for a fact. As it is...Truth!

Then I had to go back to scripture, what it is Jesus died on the Cross for, what He saved me from. What He's given me. And yes, the "in Him" and "in Whom", "in Christ" etc. scrpitures. I had to find my identity once again.

This goes along with healing!!!! Duh, yeah...I hadn't realized that either. Again...no good fruit from an ailing tree. And I had been struggling with a back injury for the last 10 months. I didn't understand what was going on. But it was my identity in Christ that had gotten messed up!!! I was so unstable. So unsure of myself in Christ, not trusting myself in Christ that my healing couldn't totally manifest yet.

I was astounded!!! Thank You Lord for Your Revelation!!!!

We all need spirital "check-up's" and tree pruning. Talk with the Lord. Listen to what He has to say. Go to scirpture He is leading you to. And do whatever He tells you. He doesn't talk with us from outside of our head. It's never "voice to skull". He speaks deep within you. Sometimes it is a sudden prompting from deep down inside. I call them, as you may have read from other articles, "ah-ha" moments. It's like a light bulb just turned on!! God is light! There is always light. There is always joy. There is always revelation. There is always peace. And there is certainly always strength when He speaks with you! He is those things therefore that is how He speaks! That is what you have when He speaks to you. Not consternations, consideration, questions, timitdity, or fear. Check what youre "left with". Move on what He is leading you to do and reflect from your life and from your inner being what you have received from the Lord today!